Indian eunuchs turn tax collectors

According to the BBC, Tax authorities in Bihar have devised a way to get debtors to pay their bills by turning eunuchs into tax collectors.This might just work and shows the desperation on behalf of the tax authorities who seem to be bullied by debtors.

Story Extracts:
Tax authorities in one Indian state are attempting to persuade debtors to paying their bills - by serenading them with a delegation of singing eunuchs. Eunuchs are feared and reviled in many parts of India, where some believe they have supernatural powers. Often unable to gain regular employment, the eunuchs have become successful at persuading people to part with their cash. The eunuchs will get a commission of 4% of any taxes collected.
In Bihar's capital, Patna, officials felt deploying the eunuchs was the only way to prompt people to pay up. “We are confident that their reputation and persuasive skills will come in handy,” said Bharat Sharma, an official from Patna.
"Pay the tax, pay the Patna Municipal Corporation tax," the eunuchs sang as they approached Ram Sagar Singh, who owed 100,000 rupees (£1,180), the AFP news agency reported.

I think it is a great idea, though we might see the eunuch mafia on the rise...I wonder if they will accept bribes, though I have a feeling, they will...

The Guardian has an interview with the funniest and most loud-mouthed rockstar of our times- Mr Noel Gallagher. Reading any interview of Noel is a pleasure, however badly written or pompous the actual article is, Noel saves it with his quotes. Though this is a well-penned piece, it is Noel Gallagher and his frankness that adds the extra zing. Here are some of the best quotes of the piece.

"Yeah, of course," he shrugs. "We're talking about the best of Oasis here. If you stop the man in the street and ask 'What's Oasis's best album?', a few might say Don't Believe the Truth, which is great, but the squares will say Morning Glory and the cool people will say Definitely Maybe. That album should just be called the Best of Oasis." He leans forward. "Look. I was a superhero in the 90s. I said so at the time. McCartney, Weller, Townsend, Richards, my first album's better than all their first albums. Even they'd admit that."

At times this year, the Arctic Monkeys have seemed almost embarrassed by their success. It's the antithesis of the Oasis way. "I've never understood that kind of thing. Like the Clash going, 'We're not playing on telly.' Well fuck off then. When we first started we said we were the greatest band in the world. We should have said we were the best band in the charts. 'Cos to me, the world is the charts. I don't give a fuck about Radiohead and all that indie nonsense. I was brought up on the top 10. Slade, T.Rex, David Bowie. If you're not in the charts, you don't exist. BMX Bandits? Four people are listening to it in Hull. I went in there to get Phil Collins' severed head in my fridge by the end of the decade."

"I came from a shithole in Manchester....Then when we got a deal, we were like: 'Bring it on!' I wanted the big hairdo, big shades, big car, big house, swimming pool, jet, drug habit, a mirrored top hat and a chimp. All of it. The Kasabian lads told me they'd only get out of bed to read about us in the paper. And what would you rather read? 'The guy from Keane's been to a rabbit sanctuary 'cos one of the rabbits needed a kidney implant, so he swapped his with it' - or 'Liam Gallagher sets fire to a policeman in cocaine madness, while his brother Noel runs down Oxford Street nude'?"

"Well, I think that Britain is a better place than it was before the Labour party took over. Personally, I'd have loved Neil Kinnock to get in. He was gonna rip Margaret Thatcher's head off and shit down her neck. Then Tony Blair came along and it was like: 'Ah, he's gonna outsmart all of these public schoolboy cunts.' But we all got carried away in 97. Once the veneer wore off - even taking the Iraq debacle out of the equation - we've all just given a massive shrug. I think the Labour party's crowning achievement is the death of politics. There's nothing left to vote for."

Never launch a rocket in your arse
here's why:
A 22 year old man suffered internal burns as he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Guy Fawkes Day. He was found bleeding with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket inside him.

This is an extremely embarrassing incident that the poor man will never able to escape from and he sure must be learning it the hard way. His friends might be a little sensitive about it, though I doubt that. Even people from his neighbourhood will say: - oh, he is the guy who lit a rocket in his arse, isn't he?

There are two questions to ask, one funny and one not
Q1: What was he thinking, trying to launch a rocket from there?
Q2: What were the first words that he uttered when the rocket launched in his arse?

Mail me if you have any good answers

The BBC story carried an apt headline- Backside firework prank backfires

Click here for the full story

And here are a few extracts:

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.

"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

So all you arsonists out there remember:

Don't put your money where your mouth is
and
Don't launch a rocket where your arse is

Here are two rather rare and honest quotes by Bush after Wednesday's mid term election results.

“If you look at it race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not close. It was a thumping.”

"I recognise that many Americans voted last night to register their displeasure with the lack of progress being made there."

REALLY?...
How nice of you to say that?

Test Tube Koala Bears

Koala bears have been infected with their version of chlamydia, which is creating a big impact both on their numbers and also affecting their sexual performance according to a Guardian story.

Here are a few extracts:

Researchers from the University of Queensland, with the assistance of the Zoological Society of London, are hoping that this new artificial insemination process will help establish a koala sperm bank. Project leader Steve Johnston describes the bank as "an insurance policy" to protect the species.

Although koalas are not yet threatened with extinction, urban development and habitat destruction have reduced their number from millions to fewer than 100,000 in Australia. Populations are classifi ed as "vulnerable" in parts of Queensland and New South Wales. Since they have become isolated in pockets of forest, inbreeding has become a concern, while diseases such as the koala version of chlamydia have left many infertile.

A sperm bank will help manage the genetic diversity of koalas, screen out diseases and reduce the need for koalas to be transported for breeding. Sperm from simple beasts like cattle and humans has been collected, frozen and used for artificial insemination for years. But koalas and other marsupials are more complicated, with their sperm less likely to recover its motility - the ability to move - after it has been thawed from frozen.

Interesting sounds a bit over the top, but i hope the humans solve the problems of these poor marsupials.

Cricket's relationship with animals

This is an extremely hilarious piece I found on Cricinfo, , it lists weird moments when man animal and the quaint sport of cricket have come together.

Here are a few instances

Botham the Pig
By the Ashes tour of 1982-83, Ian Botham was beginning to fill out around the waist and was no longer the swing-bowling sylph of his heyday. That was good enough for the crowd at The Gabba, who smuggled a piglet in through the turnstiles (by stuffing an apple in its mouth and convincing the steward he was soon to be lunch), then released him on the outfield with "Botham" scrawled on one flank, and "Eddie" (in tribute to the equally rotund Eddie Hemmings) on the other.

That is legendary, how much ever people despise beer buzzling aussie cricket fans you must bow down to this gesture. Or atleast I will.

Snakes in the stands
When Pakistan visited India in 1999, Shiv Sena, a Hindu extremist movement, were less than happy with the idea of sporting contact between the two nations. In the build-up to the Test, they threatened to release poisonous snakes onto the outfield during the game. In response, the police hired 30 snake charmers to patrol the stands and be ready to pounce should the need arise.

Well, it just goes to show that the Mumbai police are always ahead of their enemies.

Hansie the rabbit
Peter McIntosh, an 11-year-old cricket nut from Northampton, had the misfortune of naming his new pet rabbit "Hansie" just three days before the match-fixing scandal erupted in April 2000. As Cronje Sr's name was dragged through the mud, his bunny namesake sat chewing lettuces and going about his rabbity business, oblivious to the fact that he was now the talk of the town. "We couldn't believe it," said Paul's mother, Elaine. "Our nine-year-old, Lauren, has been telling everybody that our rabbit has been arrested."

Moral of the story: Never name your rabbit after a cricketer.