Worth a read

Well, after a long period of inertia, I am back, not that it is of much consequence, as most of my readers, if there are any, are invisible. But anyways I will do my best to update this blog (I know it’s a promise I have made before) But, hopefully I will live up to it this time.

I will start a few interesting links that I came across the web today.

It is the fifth anniversary of the Godhra train bombings and the Gujarat riots, so here are a two pieces.

Mike Marqusee writes in the The Guardian about how Narendra Modi has emerged as BJP's most popular icon and has become the 'poster boy for big business, foreign and domestic'.
He is now being praised by industrialists for his state's capitalism friendly environment and is looked on as an economic hero while his alleged role in the Gujarat riots is wilfully ignored.

He writes: "At this year's Vibrant Gujarat conclave, the showpiece of the BJP regime, the great names of Indian capitalism - Ambani, Birla, Tata - sang Modi's praises, echoed by delegations from Singapore, Europe and the US. Anxieties about dealing with a politician accused of genocide have been allayed by the appeal of Gujarat's corporation-friendly environment, not least its labour laws, which give employers hire-and-fire rights unique in India."

Some people even want him to become the country's Prime Minister one day, I am confident that that will not happen, or at least that is what I keep on telling myself to be cheer myself up.

The BBC focussed its piece on how the riots have got Muslim women more involved in the mainstream while men have yet to catch up. After the riots, Muslim men were either arrested or went into hiding and the 'womenfolk were left to fend for themselves'.

The article says:
But the riots have also had a "positive impact" on Muslims, feels Muslim intellectual JS Bandukwala, one of the most powerful voices against communal riots in India.

Firoza Sheikh has given up the veil "Never before have I witnessed Muslim women coming forward in such large numbers to work," he says.

Now women are also turning up in large numbers for rallies and are getting involved in social activities.

Latifa Yusuf Giteli is one such person who started, what she calls, her "second life" as a social activist after the riots and now runs a school with 150 students in Satpul in Godhra, a predominantly Muslim colony.

Indian eunuchs turn tax collectors

According to the BBC, Tax authorities in Bihar have devised a way to get debtors to pay their bills by turning eunuchs into tax collectors.This might just work and shows the desperation on behalf of the tax authorities who seem to be bullied by debtors.

Story Extracts:
Tax authorities in one Indian state are attempting to persuade debtors to paying their bills - by serenading them with a delegation of singing eunuchs. Eunuchs are feared and reviled in many parts of India, where some believe they have supernatural powers. Often unable to gain regular employment, the eunuchs have become successful at persuading people to part with their cash. The eunuchs will get a commission of 4% of any taxes collected.
In Bihar's capital, Patna, officials felt deploying the eunuchs was the only way to prompt people to pay up. “We are confident that their reputation and persuasive skills will come in handy,” said Bharat Sharma, an official from Patna.
"Pay the tax, pay the Patna Municipal Corporation tax," the eunuchs sang as they approached Ram Sagar Singh, who owed 100,000 rupees (£1,180), the AFP news agency reported.

I think it is a great idea, though we might see the eunuch mafia on the rise...I wonder if they will accept bribes, though I have a feeling, they will...

The Guardian has an interview with the funniest and most loud-mouthed rockstar of our times- Mr Noel Gallagher. Reading any interview of Noel is a pleasure, however badly written or pompous the actual article is, Noel saves it with his quotes. Though this is a well-penned piece, it is Noel Gallagher and his frankness that adds the extra zing. Here are some of the best quotes of the piece.

"Yeah, of course," he shrugs. "We're talking about the best of Oasis here. If you stop the man in the street and ask 'What's Oasis's best album?', a few might say Don't Believe the Truth, which is great, but the squares will say Morning Glory and the cool people will say Definitely Maybe. That album should just be called the Best of Oasis." He leans forward. "Look. I was a superhero in the 90s. I said so at the time. McCartney, Weller, Townsend, Richards, my first album's better than all their first albums. Even they'd admit that."

At times this year, the Arctic Monkeys have seemed almost embarrassed by their success. It's the antithesis of the Oasis way. "I've never understood that kind of thing. Like the Clash going, 'We're not playing on telly.' Well fuck off then. When we first started we said we were the greatest band in the world. We should have said we were the best band in the charts. 'Cos to me, the world is the charts. I don't give a fuck about Radiohead and all that indie nonsense. I was brought up on the top 10. Slade, T.Rex, David Bowie. If you're not in the charts, you don't exist. BMX Bandits? Four people are listening to it in Hull. I went in there to get Phil Collins' severed head in my fridge by the end of the decade."

"I came from a shithole in Manchester....Then when we got a deal, we were like: 'Bring it on!' I wanted the big hairdo, big shades, big car, big house, swimming pool, jet, drug habit, a mirrored top hat and a chimp. All of it. The Kasabian lads told me they'd only get out of bed to read about us in the paper. And what would you rather read? 'The guy from Keane's been to a rabbit sanctuary 'cos one of the rabbits needed a kidney implant, so he swapped his with it' - or 'Liam Gallagher sets fire to a policeman in cocaine madness, while his brother Noel runs down Oxford Street nude'?"

"Well, I think that Britain is a better place than it was before the Labour party took over. Personally, I'd have loved Neil Kinnock to get in. He was gonna rip Margaret Thatcher's head off and shit down her neck. Then Tony Blair came along and it was like: 'Ah, he's gonna outsmart all of these public schoolboy cunts.' But we all got carried away in 97. Once the veneer wore off - even taking the Iraq debacle out of the equation - we've all just given a massive shrug. I think the Labour party's crowning achievement is the death of politics. There's nothing left to vote for."

Never launch a rocket in your arse
here's why:
A 22 year old man suffered internal burns as he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Guy Fawkes Day. He was found bleeding with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket inside him.

This is an extremely embarrassing incident that the poor man will never able to escape from and he sure must be learning it the hard way. His friends might be a little sensitive about it, though I doubt that. Even people from his neighbourhood will say: - oh, he is the guy who lit a rocket in his arse, isn't he?

There are two questions to ask, one funny and one not
Q1: What was he thinking, trying to launch a rocket from there?
Q2: What were the first words that he uttered when the rocket launched in his arse?

Mail me if you have any good answers

The BBC story carried an apt headline- Backside firework prank backfires

Click here for the full story

And here are a few extracts:

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.

"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

So all you arsonists out there remember:

Don't put your money where your mouth is
and
Don't launch a rocket where your arse is

Here are two rather rare and honest quotes by Bush after Wednesday's mid term election results.

“If you look at it race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not close. It was a thumping.”

"I recognise that many Americans voted last night to register their displeasure with the lack of progress being made there."

REALLY?...
How nice of you to say that?

Test Tube Koala Bears

Koala bears have been infected with their version of chlamydia, which is creating a big impact both on their numbers and also affecting their sexual performance according to a Guardian story.

Here are a few extracts:

Researchers from the University of Queensland, with the assistance of the Zoological Society of London, are hoping that this new artificial insemination process will help establish a koala sperm bank. Project leader Steve Johnston describes the bank as "an insurance policy" to protect the species.

Although koalas are not yet threatened with extinction, urban development and habitat destruction have reduced their number from millions to fewer than 100,000 in Australia. Populations are classifi ed as "vulnerable" in parts of Queensland and New South Wales. Since they have become isolated in pockets of forest, inbreeding has become a concern, while diseases such as the koala version of chlamydia have left many infertile.

A sperm bank will help manage the genetic diversity of koalas, screen out diseases and reduce the need for koalas to be transported for breeding. Sperm from simple beasts like cattle and humans has been collected, frozen and used for artificial insemination for years. But koalas and other marsupials are more complicated, with their sperm less likely to recover its motility - the ability to move - after it has been thawed from frozen.

Interesting sounds a bit over the top, but i hope the humans solve the problems of these poor marsupials.

Cricket's relationship with animals

This is an extremely hilarious piece I found on Cricinfo, , it lists weird moments when man animal and the quaint sport of cricket have come together.

Here are a few instances

Botham the Pig
By the Ashes tour of 1982-83, Ian Botham was beginning to fill out around the waist and was no longer the swing-bowling sylph of his heyday. That was good enough for the crowd at The Gabba, who smuggled a piglet in through the turnstiles (by stuffing an apple in its mouth and convincing the steward he was soon to be lunch), then released him on the outfield with "Botham" scrawled on one flank, and "Eddie" (in tribute to the equally rotund Eddie Hemmings) on the other.

That is legendary, how much ever people despise beer buzzling aussie cricket fans you must bow down to this gesture. Or atleast I will.

Snakes in the stands
When Pakistan visited India in 1999, Shiv Sena, a Hindu extremist movement, were less than happy with the idea of sporting contact between the two nations. In the build-up to the Test, they threatened to release poisonous snakes onto the outfield during the game. In response, the police hired 30 snake charmers to patrol the stands and be ready to pounce should the need arise.

Well, it just goes to show that the Mumbai police are always ahead of their enemies.

Hansie the rabbit
Peter McIntosh, an 11-year-old cricket nut from Northampton, had the misfortune of naming his new pet rabbit "Hansie" just three days before the match-fixing scandal erupted in April 2000. As Cronje Sr's name was dragged through the mud, his bunny namesake sat chewing lettuces and going about his rabbity business, oblivious to the fact that he was now the talk of the town. "We couldn't believe it," said Paul's mother, Elaine. "Our nine-year-old, Lauren, has been telling everybody that our rabbit has been arrested."

Moral of the story: Never name your rabbit after a cricketer.

More posts on pigeons

NYT on a remedy to eradicate all pigeons from New York.

Well I must say I am not a fan of pigeons , though i might end up being one after all this hatred that they are being subjected to. Apparently, they are the scum that dirties our streets.

The report says

A pigeon dispenses about 25 pounds of excrement a year. Often this gunk must be blasted off hard-to-reach places using boom lifts and steam hoses. Pigeon-related damage in America has been estimated to cost $1.1 billion a year.

Here is the best quote of the piece -
“At the end of the day, pigeons are there because we’re filthy, dirty creatures,” Merchant told me. “They’re there because we’re stupid creatures who go on feeding them.” They are the heroes of a great co-evolutionary success story. One ornithologist has crowned them “superdoves.” The less deferential way of saying this is, we’ve taken an otherwise unobjectionable bird and built the perfect pest.

“Most of the pigeon feeders are in some way crazy,” he said, summarizing, rather informally, a psychological study he helped write on the subject. “It is impossible to influence these people.” The most relentless have no family and few interpersonal relationships. They adopt pigeons as surrogate children. He described women — older women — who worked as phone-sex operators and prostitutes to pay for birdseed. This may be the pigeon’s greatest co-evolutionary triumph: the black magic whereby these grubbing little birds have sought out their depredated, human counterparts and transformed them into senseless disciples.

Go and feed a pigeon, let it fly into the murky metropolis sky and then shit on you. Kabootar ja ja ja...

Pelican swallows pigeon

Was this just a one time occurence, or have pelicans been eating pigeons all this while without humans noticing it...ok well that was a bad joke. But that just happened yesterday evening at St James's Park

Families and tourists in a London park were left shocked when a pelican picked up and swallowed a pigeon.

The unusual wildlife spectacle in St James's Park was caught on camera by photographer Cathal McNaughton.

He said the Eastern White pelican had the unfortunate pigeon in its beak for more than 20 minutes before swallowing it whole.

An RSPB spokesman said: "It is almost unheard of for a pelican to eat a bird. Their diet should be strictly fish."

"There was a bit of a struggle for about 20 minutes, with all these people watching. The pelican only opened its mouth a couple of times.

"Then it managed to get the pigeon to go head first down its throat. It was kicking and flapping the whole way down."

Who is gonna eat who next...Any idea?...

What happens when your CV goes on Youtube, you dont get a job, you become a celebrity...hurray!
Imagine your CV goes online, there are two things either you make an ass of yourself or you get the chance of catching teh attention of Donald Trump and other tycoons and your life changes altogether. Not for My Vayner though, who ended up doing the former and his video CV was all over youtube.com.

Extracts from the Guardian news report
For Aleksey Vayner, "success is a mental phenomenon, not a physical one." Notoriety, however, is something else. The 23-year-old "CEO and professional athlete" has achieved a celebrity of sorts after an 11-page job application and accompanying video he submitted to a bank leaked onto the internet and turned him into the latest subject of online humiliation. Mr Vayner has decided to take a break from Yale. He is still looking for a job.

Well lets see who else went to Yale, and is now an embarrassment to his country, oh yes its George Bush.

Last of all here is the Video CV for everyone to laugh their ass off.

Fancy a rave at the Great Wall Of China
BBC reports that the Chinese government has finally banned all-night music raves and parties at the Great Wall of Chine,. It is quite sad actually, though it is quite surprising that it was allowed in the first place.


Partying and all-night music raves are to be banned from parts of the Great Wall as China imposes laws to protect its top tourist attraction.
Writing and driving on the wall are also among several activities that are being prohibited, the government said.
The rules will include the banning of parties and all-night raves which have become increasingly common along parts of the wall near Beijing, the BBC's Dan Griffiths in the Chinese capital reports.

Imagine a rave taking place at the Taj Mahal, I have never been there and don’t plan to but if it was to ever host a rave, I might think about it.

A few links

Naresh Fernandes after the blasts

Despite the long history of sporadic violence, Mumbai has always picked itself up by its bootstraps and marched off to work as soon as the trains started working again. Our ability to jeer at misfortune is attributed in the Indian press to the "spirit of Bombay," which is variously described as "indomitable," "never say die" and "undying." But our spirit has been saluted so frequently of late, all the praise was beginning to annoy me.

Before I left the office Tuesday evening, I finished a magazine article complaining that this illogical faith in Bombay's innate resilience had the unfortunate consequence of absolving the city's administrators of the responsibility of actually fixing our problems. No matter how bad things get, they seem to suggest, we have an infinite capacity to cope.


Amit Varma on Comment is Free

It has been a long time since I have posted something, will be blogging regularly from now on, here are a few of my recent articles, enjoy and give feedback, cheers

Cricket's Pink Triangle

Cricket’s detractors dismiss the game with a variety of insults, but the most ridiculous one seems to be ‘cricket is gay’. This juvenile taunt gets me pretty worked up.

So imagine my surprise when I stumble upon an advert in Time Out. ‘Graces CC, the world’s only gay cricket club, welcomes new players and supporters, midweek nets at Lord’s.’

A quick internet search throws up a few articles on them, none of which amount to anything more than a bunch of puns put together. More useful is their website, www.gaycricket.org.uk. Bowling and batting averages for every season and a discussion board show they are serious about their cricket.

With 60-odd members, Graces are fairly established on the London circuit. They were founded in the summer of 1996 with a passion for watching cricket together, but have since evolved into a serious competitive cricket team.

Duncan Irvine, founding member and honorary vice-president of Graces, is also one of the owners of Central Station, a pub popular amongst London’s gay community and notorious for its themed fetish nights.

“We are a nice, friendly little cricket side. The only thing is we are all gay, but we all are passionate about the sport,” says Irvine. “We organise social get-togethers pretty often and go along for cricket matches.”

“People think we are a bunch of poofs who play cricket in pink, but we win more than we lose.” Irvine remembers when the Brighton Argus did a piece on them. “We were on a photo shoot with them and they thought we would be dressed in pink or something. Then they lined up the players and the photographer said, ‘can you look a bit more gay’, and the guys are going, ‘how can we look more gay?’ I mean it was strange, after all we were in Brighton of all places.”

I watch Graces in action. They are playing a friendly game against the Foreign Office at the Civil Service Sports Club in Chiswick. The weather isn’t ideal: gloomy skies with a slight nip in the air and a forecast for some rain later in the day.

When I arrive, Graces are batting and the score reads 56 for two. The rest of the team are lounging in the pavilion. The next batsman is getting a few knocks in. Three of the players have been joined by their partners and they also have an able supporter in Corny, a dog belonging to one of their supporters. A copy of The Daily Telegraph lies on one of the tables, along with a few Coke cans.

Graces first hit the headlines when the press stirred up a fuss over their name. Patrick Sopp, one of the team’s founders, remembers the row. “The press got to hear about us and they went to the family of WG Grace and asked them, ‘how do they feel that a gay team is using your family name?’ There was a spat about it when they objected and few of them asked us to stop using the name, but it died out. After all it is to do with cricket and we are more concerned with cricket than anything else.”

The sticky wicket doesn’t seem to trouble the batsmen at the crease. They look confident apart from the odd mishit. James Carr, with a body and stubble resembling Mike Gatting, is in attacking mode and gracefully moves onto his half-century.

As the only gay team in the world, they hope to see gay sides elsewhere, especially Australia. “A gay side from Australia will be great, we can then play a gay Ashes,” says Sopp.

Back in the pavilion, the guys are busy chatting. “James is clobbering them, isn’t he? I may not get to bat today, thank god,” quips Jonathan Hardisty, a lawyer who has been playing for Graces since 2000. They reach 138 for five wickets in just 24 overs when rain appears and the players leave the field.


Club captain Richard Bielby is playing for the Foreign Office today as he works there. Vice-captain Stuart Knowles has taken over as skipper for the match. “It’s nice we have our own little team,” says Bielby. “We feel more comfortable here. When we have played for straight clubs, we have had to invent girlfriends and make up stories, it’s much more open here.” Their only problem since setting up their own side came four years ago when players on an opposing team made homophobic remarks.

The club president is media-savvy astrologer-cum-philanthropist Russell Grant, who is well connected with the Middlesex Cricket Federation, where Graces are based. “He’s right for the image of the club and is very big on his cricket. He’s also a very good businessman and it helps that he is quite camp,” adds Irvine.

The rain continues. Knowles decides to make a match out of it and declares. The Foreign Office need 139 to win from 24 overs.

The rain has not stopped, but these guys still seem enthusiastic. The Foreign Office batsmen are struggling, with the ball not coming onto the bat easily. Graces have a good bowling attack, although the fielding is a little sloppy and a few of them can look a bit camp when they chase the ball. Three wickets later the run-rate is beginning to creep up and Graces seem to be the favourites. But the Foreign Office batsmen start to make a game of it with some aggressive shots and boundaries.

The tide soon turns. 16 runs off two overs looks makeable – especially after two boundaries and four singles from the penultimate over. It’s in their faces - three runs in six balls, it can’t be won from here?

But a reckless final over sees the Foreign Office lose two wickets and score just two runs. Graces have win by a single run; they can’t believe it and are all over the bowler who won them the match with a tidy last over. A few of them slap his buttocks; others punch the air.

A straight team played a gay team and the gay team won. Or rather, the better team won. That’s what counts.


Medicine Man or Witch Doctor?

Outside the Peckham Rye train station in London sits Wahabu on a stool with a briefcase, handing flyers to the public. Wahabu is not distributing phone cards or flyers advertising club nights or gigs. He markets himself as someone who can treat diseases and at times even perform miracles. Wahabu can be called a medicine man, whose forte is traditional Nigerian medicine, or that’s what he says. I pick up his flyer and let him know that I will be in touch.

In simple terms, Wahabu can be classified as an alternative medicine therapist (he sells something not necessarily available in the mainstream market). Except he doesn’t seem to be the type of person your GP will recommend like those practitioners involved in Indian and Chinese medicine.

Indian and Chinese medicines have influenced our opinion of conventional medicine and are now living a healthy life on our high streets. They, come under the umbrella of alternative medicine, which as the name suggests is viewed as an alternative to conventional medicine. Both these medical systems had their origins thousands of years ago and have a rich culture and tradition attached to them. So too do the medicines from Nigeria and other African countries and yet their medicine is viewed more as quackery or a concoction of snake oil and other magic potions.

Wahabu has been treating people for the last two decades, and spends the year shuffling between the United Kingdom and Nigeria. I meet him a week later at the same place. As usual he is distributing the flyers and he seems to be wearing the same clothes as he was last week; white shirt, turquoise trousers.

“Come in the evening, personal problem or physical problem?” he asks.
“Mainly physical,” I say.
“Me busy now, meet me at Jabber Internet café, here is address,” he says and hands me a piece of a paper, with an address.

Unlike in the US these medicines have not been banned in our country and there is a huge market for alternative items both in the health and food sector. We have a long association with other cultures and lots of people from different cultures living here, which has diversified the market.

As the name suggests it consists of practices used in place of, or in addition to, conventional medical treatments. Dr. Jacqueline Young who writes for the BBC Health website says, “Alternative therapies are based on the notion that the body naturally attempts to sustain a state of balance, known as homeostasis, which is similar to allopathic medicine,” who is positive about the future of alternative medicine.

Chinese and Indian medicines have managed to gain a sense of credibility in the west, though they still have people who question the therapies. “Ayurveda and TCM focus on the whole person, with lifestyle, environment, diet and mental, emotional and spiritual health often being considered alongside physical symptoms,” says Young.

Alternative medicine still faces an opposition. On May 23rd this year some of Britain's leading doctors urged NHS trusts to stop using alternative therapies and criticised initiatives by Prince Charles (who happens to be a staunch advocate of alternative medicine), which suggested greater access to complementary therapies in the NHS.

The main cause for concern for mainstream medicinal practitioners is that its treatment has not been verified through peer reviewed controlled studies. Acupuncture being an exception.

The reality is that they are being used to treat serious diseases. Acupuncture and osteopathy are used in pain clinics, while aromatherapy and massage are frequently used in cancer care. Osteopathy and chiropractic are recognised by conventional medical colleges as being a useful treatment for back pain. Some practices have also included the services of such therapists in their clinics.
One of the main reasons why they have survived in the West is because of the ethnic communities living in the western world still hold on to their herbal remedies which have been passed down from generation to generation.
In my family like most Indian families in the United Kingdom (or anywhere for that matter), a cough is more likely to be treated with a paste of cloves, cinnamon, ginger, long pepper, turmeric or a glass of lemon juice with a few tablespoons of honey rather than cough tablets from a pharmacy.

Before the advent of the NHS most mothers in this country would also have used lemon and honey or had their children inhale the steam of hot water with Friars Balsam. Some people still continue to do so.

Likewise, in a Chinese family, a bottle of Chuan Bel Pi Pa Gao (Fritillaria Loquat Syrup) which is an oriental herbal remedy consisting of herbs like loquat leaf and apricot seeds, from the nearest Chinese herbal medicine store, helps moisten the throat and stops the cough.
And Wahabu is trying to provide that service for his countrymen living here.
For cough I recommend plantain juice with honey, two days, then throat all clear,” he tells me later, when I meet him that evening at Jabber Internet café in Peckham.
“So what’s wrong with you, what’s your age,” he asks.
“21, actually nothing is wrong with me, I want to speak to you about your profession and your treatments. I am a student doing research on alternative medicine”.
“What? Alternative medicine, this is traditional Ibadan and Lagos medicine. My culture’s medicine is very good, solve any problem.”
Here, in the west, these medicines are referred to as alternative medicine but that is not so much the case in their country of origin. There, these medicines are consumed by a majority of the population and due to their long history are integral parts of the culture.
Kalyani Ranade, a retired teacher of Indian origin, explains: “These remedies have been working for thousands of years and it is not an alternative for us, it is part of our culture. We use both conventional western medicine as well as what we have been taught to use. It is not strange for us to start with an herbal remedy and if it persists we move on to some stronger medicine or tablets.”

“I think the positive aspect of Traditional Chinese medicine and Ayurvedic medicine to some extent, is that it neither rejects conventional medicine nor embraces other alternative practices uncritically,” says Hilda Swenson, a salesperson at the H R Chinese Medicine Centre, a Chinese Herbal Shop situated in Bayswater, London.

“For us it is our history, for the west it is an alien medical cultural practice, but the bottom-line is that if it works, there is no need to speculate and theorize about it,” says Dr. Chenzuan-Ling, a retired Chinese doctor, who incorporates traditional Chinese remedies with western medicine.

Wahabu informs me that he will charge me for this session, even though he is not actually treating me. He says that he is going to be talking about his medicine and his life and he should be paid his normal consultation fees, (£15 for half an hour) as I am still availing of his service.

I agree after much hesitation, and feel a bit awkward at first, but at least I get him talking. “I am part sangoma (traditional healer), part doctor, I don’t con people. I have been doing this twenty years. I wouldn’t have survived this long if I was a fake.”

“I am here mainly to assist people from my homeland, and other West African countries. People from other countries are not interested and I can understand why. Different cultures have different interpretations, so I like helping my people and they like me for that.”

“Back home malaria is such a big problem, so people who come here still have that fear in their mind. Malaria can’t really survive here because of the weather. I recommend Halfan, a very effective anti-malarial drug along with some traditional Nigerian herbs. People here but it from me and back home everyone uses it.”

Halfan was a popular anti-malarial drug till it was discovered that it has dangerous side effects particularly related to the heart and is now illegal in the UK and US.

It is a long way before Nigerian medicine can be thrust into the niche that Traditional Chinese medicine and Indian Ayurvedic medicine has earned itself. With people like Wahabu, it will be long before it reaches Britain’s much-desired high streets.

On the BBC health website, rather expectedly, there is no information or resources on African medicine whereas the basics of Chinese, Tibetan, Japanese and Indian medicine are all explained.

Dr. Okonwo Bigwe, a GP from Nigeria, practising in London believes that the time for traditional Nigerian medicine is long past.

“Our medicine is dying. Aspiring doctors back home are interested in western allopathic medicine and not herbal remedies. I believe conventional medicine is the way forward. That’s the same reason I became a GP.” He is proud that more and more people from his country are opting to become doctors.

For him people like Wahabu are doing more harm than good by selling ‘quack remedies’ and giving a bad name to Nigerian medicine. “Our traditional medicine has always been dominated by faith healers who can’t be trusted.”

Dora Mohammed, a retired doctor from Nigeria who has been living in the United Kingdom for the last six years blames them for the health crisis in the country. “They should be banned; they have destroyed our primary healthcare sector. The presence of fake drugs in the market has always been a big problem and they have been the main culprits.”

Last year the BBC had aired a documentary titled Bad Medicine (which won this year’s TV Pulitzer prize) on the relentless battle against fake drugs waged by NAFDAC (National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control) in Nigeria. The trafficking of counterfeit drugs by drug barons had crippled the state’s healthcare delivery system.

When asked about the future of traditional Nigerian medicine here in the United Kingdom, she laughs and says. “There is no way it will become as popular as Chinese medicine. Can you imagine clinics and retreats with voodoo skulls and heads? Never.” It sounds slightly pessimistic coming from a Nigerian.

Her husband Kainyan is a bit more moderate in his views and feels the government needs the healers if it is to tackle the public health problem. He thinks they should go through a certification process and should be encouraged to collaborate with universities.

He says: “Collectively, healers have tremendous influence over the health of the population because of their power to instil or dispel belief, as well of the herbal treatments they offer. Thus people won’t suddenly stop using their services.”

GPs are divided on the issue of traditional medicine though there are more who are against it. Often, those of Indian, Chinese, Nigerian and other African lineage are the most vocal in their support for traditional medicine.

Dr. Pradeep Kothare, a GP of Indian descent, is however, a little sceptical about such therapies and believes that GPs should not involve themselves in ‘the new fad’. “We are professional medical doctors; our advice is followed by most of our patients, whatever medicine we prescribe they take. So, we have to be careful in what we prescribe. Giving herbs and other therapies are based more on the faith of the person taking it than the powers of the actual medicine.”

Dr. Prakash Talaolikar, a GP based in Chatham in Kent is a bit more open. He says, “I am not necessarily against it but I always ask my patients to inform me if they are using alternative medicine. Some alternative treatments may interact with orthodox medical treatments.”

In Africa, people first go a traditional healer when they have a problem. Thus Wahabu and others like him have a role to play in cities like London where many African people are based. They try to replace the traditional market present in every major African town.

Wahabu then takes me to a small room at the back of the Internet café. It has nothing but a few suitcases, three chairs, two tables and a calendar hanging on the wall.

“This is where I treat my patients. I don’t have all my equipment here as I use it in my second session after finding more about that person,” he says, as he makes himself comfortable on one of the chairs.

His paraphernalia consists of hollowed out gourds, which are then decorated with beads, filled with a green powder, along with sterilised porcupine quills and a few herbs of which he does not know the English names. “In London, luck medicine is very popular; it comes in the form of a piece of leopard skin, which if boiled in water and drunk is supposed to be extremely effective before a visit to William Hill or Ladbrokes,” he says. Then he takes me out of the room and seems reluctant to divulge any more information and quickly asks for his money as our half an hour session is over.

Ayurvedic medicine has its origins in the ancient Hindu sacred texts- the Vedas, where ayur means life and veda means science in Sanskrit. It covers a variety of subject matter from diagnosis, treatment, surgery, lifestyle and philosophy. The biggest exponents of Ayurveda in the west are yoga and massage therapy.

Anjali Karnik, a yoga teacher, based in Winchester, understands the views of those against alternative medicine but thinks they are making ‘a big noise’ about nothing. “For the Western world Ayurveda is this exotic branch of alternative medicine. For me it is part of my upbringing and I do not need to view it sceptically. The lack of research and investigation into it doesn’t necessarily make it less effective. If it works, well and good, if it doesn’t there is no need to make a hue and cry about it.”

Danny Cavanagh, one of the founders of Ayurveda UK, an Ayurveda & Yoga Retreat in Burton-on-Trent thinks Ayurveda is the world's most powerful means to relax the mind and purify the body. “The Ayurveda tradition is very practical and is ideal to help release imbalances, impurities, stress, tensions and toxins held within the body.”

Chinese medicine is even bigger than Ayurveda and it is known to be effective in treating disorders such as eczema, asthma, menstrual problems, insomnia, digestive disorders and joint pain. It is based on the philosophy of yin and yang; the universe exists because of two great opposing yet interdependent creative forces. The body is viewed as a microcosmic universe and the inner organs and their functions are classified according to their yin and yang properties. Therapies such as acupuncture, acupressure, moxibustion and herbal medicine are the most widely used.

Acupuncture is the most popular branch of traditional Chinese medicine. It involves inserting needles at selected points on the skin to balance the body's energy (chi), and thereby treating and preventing disease.

Persis Tamboly from the British Acupuncture Council (BAC) believes it to be a life-changing therapy and urges the public to only go to centres where traditional Chinese acupuncture is offered and not Western acupuncture. “These days, a watered down form of acupuncture is available, which should be avoided.” According to a report published by the BAC in 2001, 1.2 million use traditional Chinese acupuncture annually.

Wahabu then accompanies me to the door and shakes my hand and says, “Bye, boy, take care, sorry that’s all I can tell you. Have a good life and go to the doctor regularly.”

Expectedly, I didn’t come back with a huge knowledge on Nigerian medicine, apart from getting a bit freaked out by the image of someone drinking a solution consisting of leopard skin in boiled water.

The faith healers cum doctors, as they are referred to as, are the face of Western African medicine and after my experience with Wahabu I am not in the least convinced by his healing powers or for that matter even his medical advice, but I am intrigued. I must admit his advice of plantain juice with honey for a cough is tempting and might be his only tip worth taking.

The bottom-line seems to be that Nigerian and other African medicine continues to be associated with witchdoctors and shamans and till that myth is dispelled it will not rise in the west. Simple.

With campaigns like Make Poverty History and other global poverty movements drilling the fact that Africa is the poorest continent with the most number of diseased and malnourished people, it will be hard for a country like ours to embrace its traditional doctors. The use of effective and shrewd marketing techniques might be its only route to the mainstream. Saatchi & Saatchi, I hope you are listening, Wahabu needs you.